I have been wanting to start a blog for the past while. The surface reason is that I have had many friends tell me “Hey Lucas, you should write a book sometime”, and blogs are good practice for that. The real reason is that every day I go a little crazy; I think things, but then I regain my lucidity and life is boring again. I want to write that crazy down, and to invite you, fellow anonymous reader, to be part of it.
A bit about me: I’m the evil middle class white male. I am also a South American immigrant raised by a single mom in the poor side of Sao Paulo. I am officially studying theology, which some call “philosophy with hope in the end”, very much because of the hope part. I have studied enough psychology to lose interest on it, enough history to want to study it more, and enough science to know vaccines are safe and that hugging people with AIDS is ok. I am a devout Christian who likes to advocate for the devil, raised in a conservative evangelical church, but also exposed to different Christian traditions. Right now my favorite philosophy is from Nietzsche’s Zarathustra, the kind of stuff that “old school” atheists enjoy, the same atheists that think Richard Dawkins is a clown. I do not watch TV nor Netflix, but I read a few manga and I enjoy DC Vertigo. I listen to a lot of music all the time, and am slowly learning how to play guitar so I can make some music myself. I also have a knack for languages: besides English eu também falo portugues, français, e un poquito de espanol. I enjoy some anarchy and rock n’ roll, I have a strong aversion to the idea of becoming rich, and I am also a hopeless romantic who fails at writing poetry. I grew up in Sao Paulo, the largest city in South America, and now I live in Montreal, the bilingual cultural capital of Canada.
Here is a bit about how I see my faith: Some days I have what I call my “atheist days”, days when I think life would be so much easier if God was not God. Yet, I know God, and I just cannot escape Him. It is much more than blind faith, but also more than intellectual knowledge or theory: it resembles the way I know my mother and my best friends: I could spend hours discussing the science behind the hormones and neural pathways that make up our affection, or could discuss the historical value of my birth certificate, but deep down it goes far beyond just that. In the same way, I know God is real and that Jesus rose from the dead, and that goes far beyond just the historical or scientific value of the bible, it goes far beyond the intricate formal logic of theology and philosophy and the great questions of existence. It is me and Him, with a cup of coffee, watching the sunshine on the trees on a Saturday morning. It is the voice that comes on a rough “atheist day” and reminds me I am dust, leaving me laughing alone in the middle of a crowd downtown, thinking it is just so funny that I spent the past two hours complaining in my head when life is actually great.
God is great, and to me there is no thought more refreshing or liberating than remembering that the Lord is God, and that I am not.